Hey, did you know I was a drummer?

I just played the drums and here’s what was different
-I didn’t have to set up
-I didn’t have to break down
-I played at 3 am on REAL DRUMS *REAL LOUD!*
-I took a shower directly afterwards and didn’t have to drive home to do it

Having recently been urged to re-consider metal, I decided to play some tonight
The evening started when I discovered that the new season of “That Metal Show” was currently running, so I watched the first episode and got excited
I started stretching as I watched it and then did some light martial arts (100 front and side kicks 100 punches and blocks as well as 50 stretch kicks)

This got my heart rate up and also helped me to stretch a bit easier because the muscles were warmer
After the show was over, I warmed up a bit with my usual single stroke rolls on both hands and feet
I had been feeling a bit of frustration in the last few days because I have had a bit of a rough start
Having only played the real drums at my few gigs (and getting yelled at for the clicking of my practice pads), I was way out of shape and sloppy as hell
Not only that, but I have neglected the settings on my equipment, so I tightened everything up and played much better

I tried to think of something that would combine all of the things I liked about metal and settled on the album “Wreckage in Flesh” by Dr. Know
It turned out to be a very wise choice (more on why a bit later) and I had a very enjoyable time playing the drums
Something I have not had in quite a long time
I had to stop every song to stretch out my back and wrap my fingers with tape (marshmallows instead of callouses right now) but it was a pretty decent workout nonetheless
Did I mention that I stepped right into a nice shower right afterwards?

There are quite a few issues I need to address about my attitude towards metal
And I hope I don’t come across as some curmudgeonly old guy lamenting for the way it used to be
I have pretty much ignored metal since I quit Scum of the Earth in 1990
Bands like Primus and Course of Empire became my new interests
Nu-metal in the 2000s sealed the deal
I couldn’t fucking stand that shit and I couldn’t fucking stand the people who played it or the people who listened to it
Yes, there were metal elements to Autonomy, but not enough for the gorillas jumping up and down, beating their D strings, chugging and barking
Of course, I liked Tool but pretty much fell back on bands that I listened to when I liked metal and only kept up with Slayer (that is, until Bostaph left)
So metal was pretty much dead to me

Unfortunately, I happen to be really good at playing metal
In order to pull the proverbial stick out of my ass (or in this case, the metal bar) I must re-assess what types of metal I like and ignore all of the bullshit that I don’t like
1- Thrash Metal:
This was the music of my late teens and early adulthood
I was lucky to witness the merging of punk and metal
My first attempt was Amalgamated Hate and later with Scum of the Earth
Metal bands I listened to at the time: Slayer, Metallica, Destruction, Voivod, Celtic Frost
Crossover bands like DRI, COC, Crumbsuckers and The Bad Brains were a huge influence as well as the uber technical Victim’s Family
We toured with bands like Dead Horse, Insecticide and Morbid Scream
What appealed to me was the fast tempo and technical edge (with lots of starts and stops)
2- Stoner/Sludge/Doom
Obviously, mine and every other human being’s first stoner/sludge/doom band was Black Sabbath but there are tons of bands that I just mentioned that also slowed it down and droned
3- Prog/technical

All I have to do is find a band that can embody those qualities
Or start one
I hate to devote energy to the negatives and what I don’t want to do
But here are some things I can’t stand
1-Screamo/Harcore: I don’t mind screaming vocals but give me some variety
2- alternating melodic and screaming vocals: Now there’s two things I can hate in the same song
3- Chugga Chugga NuMetal: Lazy tough guy posturing music (thanks Pantera)

It is going to be hard not to judge prospective bands/musicians based upon their appearance but I think I have paid my dues enough and developed plenty of skills to be selective
I don’t even have to be in just one band
The main thing is to play what I enjoy
And I enjoy metal
Who knows?
I might end up playing in front of crowds larger than 60 people

currently listening to Slayer


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