Trailerphobia -or- Can I ever have a smooth move?

The last time I moved with a trailer, it destroyed my transmissionn and left me n Laura stranded on the side of the road
We finally made it but it took 2 extra exhausting days
This time, I was sure that it would work out OK

-insert ironic pause here-

I had been assured that my Subaru station wagon would be fine for the trip so I got everything ready
As usual, there were things in the way
First, I had to change my brakes but couldn’t do it in the dirty snow in front of my house which is located just before an on ramp to a highwaywhere people come within inches of sideswiping you every 30 seconds Luckily, Marko let me use their driveway
The next problem was getting the electrical hookup for the brake lights/turn signals to the trailer
After pulling the interior pannels from both sides of the back of my car, John Mann reached into the whole mess and said “Here it is” (then I had to put it all back together again)
I loaded up the trailer, picked up William who was coming along and headed out
We made it to Iowa and stopped for the required Kum N Go merchandise haul
That’s when I noticed the heat gague spike which was especially worrysome because the heads on a Subaru engine will warp very easily
However, it only got hot for a second and I immediately parked
The engine was not so hot that I couldn’t get my hand close to touching it and the coolant was about as hot as coffee (yes, I touched both of them)
We bought the aforementionmed T shirts and lighters, ate and headed on our way
The car didn’t make it 100 feet on the highway until steam started shooting out of the hood

It took the tow truck driver a long time to get to us and I was getting anxious because I assumed it was just the thermostat which could easily be replaced (I just didn’t have the tools to do it myself)
The garages were about to close and I didn’t wanna get stuck overnight waiting for a 10 minute repair
The tow truck finally arrived but it was too late
He was very cool and drove us around Mason City Iowa looking for a mechanic that was not busy for the next day
He finally found one after carting us around for quite a while (very rare for a tow truck driver)
After dropping the car and trailer, he took us to a small hotel which charged us only $25 for a room!!!
In the morning, the mechanic informed me that the heads overheated and warped
$1500 for the parts and at least $500 for labor
No way was I gonna spend $2000 on a $3000 car so I started to call around for a rental
All options for towing a trailer ended up being $1000 + so I had to rent a car with as much room as possible
This meant I was going to have to leave the trailer in Iowa, drive to Dallas to pick up my sister’s Explorer which she graciously loaned me, drive back to Iowa and then drive back to Dallas
All the while, William was keepoing me from losing it and freaking out
As I was agonizing over what was the most important posessions for me to take back to Dallas (because I was afraid the triler would be stolen while we were gone) the mechanic said “Why don’t you just store it in my garage until you get back?”
Machines were my enemies but for once, Humans were my allies
had this happened close to a major city, things would have been a million times worse

We packed up my most prized posessions and headed down to Dallas
William had a good time, we went to the goth bar, ate lots of REAL Tex Mex and then we had to heas back to Iowa
This meant that I would have to gas up 2 cars to go back to Iowa and my cash was dwindling quickly
Not only that but the stress and driving was causing me to dwindle quickly as well
By the time we got to Iowa, I was exhausted
the people from the hotel offered us a free room because we were just gonna shower, take a nap and get back at it
I offered them some money and they refused but then took it and said they would donate it to the food shelf
After spending way too much time trying to find a new electrical hookup for the Eplorer to go to the trailer, i headed back to the hotel
William’s friend came down from Mpls and took him back
I was gonna get some shuteye and head back to Dallas
Except I couldn’t sleep at all
My sister needed the car back the next day so she could get to work so I showered, thanked the hotel people and got back on the road
This would prove to be a mistake

I noticed I was in over my head when I hit the turnpike in Kansas
I kept dozing off, plus my eyes were starting to get sticky because all of the farmland on either side of the highway was burning off the grass for the spring season
I finally admitted defeat when I was woken up by the textured pavement on the side of the road three times as well as finding myself in the oncoming lane a couple of times (several 15 minute naps at various gas stations did no good)
I called Sherri and told her it would be better if I didn’t kill myself and wreck her car
She said she would figure a way to get to work, I just needed to be there to pick her up from the light rail station after I got to town
The next morning, I was confident that I had gotten enough sleep to safely drive (although I was still mentally and physically exhausted) and started back to Dallas
I managed to catch 5pm traffic in denton but got the trailer unloaded and dropped off just in time to meet Sherri at the DART station
All done right?

Sherri had fallen down the stairs at the train station and had opened a huge gash in her knee
She was going to need stitches and I was going to spend the next couple of hurs in an emergency room
We realized how long it was going to take after a couple of hours so Sherri told me to get home to shower and change clothes
Oh yeah
Did I mention that I had neglected to get my clothes out of the trailer?
I was wearing the same clothes for 5 days

She’s OK (only a few stitches)
I finally got some sleep
I am now without a car in Dallas and at least $700 in credit card debt
I have a really amazing place to live that will afford me the new open minded future I envision for myself
I have to buy a beater car to get around but I plan on buying a decent vehicle this time
I may be in debt for years to come but it is finally time for this 42 year old to grow up and start living like an adult
Things are gonna be a lot better from here on


One thought on “Trailerphobia -or- Can I ever have a smooth move?”

  1. Only a few stitches! I saw the inside of my leg! The stuff you aren’t supposed to see… My modeling career is over! They also gave me crappy pain meds! Just joshing ya… sort of. I am just happy that you are here. Extremely happy, little bro. Oh and thanks for leaving me a full tank of gas. One more thing, I should have taken a picture; I open the back of my Explorer to find a can of gas next to a lighter…next to a fire extinguisher… Safety first! 🙂

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