Why I can’t seem to hate music (but I’m really starting to resent KISS)

I just read a blog from a guy named Carl King who used to be “Sir Millard Mulch” and might still be “Dr Zoltan Obelisk” but I can’t tell because of his last post
He makes the most amazing music that Hank Hill would certainly call “Gobeldygook”
His blog was entitled “Why I hate music” and it detailed his life of alienation as a result of embracing “outsider” music (in this blog, mainly Steve Vai but I know he also loves Zappa)
You can read it here

I feel a kinship with him on so many levels so I am writing this as a response (hopefully he will read it and respond since I have tried many times to correspond but to no avail)

WHY I CAN’T SEEM TO HATE MUSIC (bit I’m really starting to resent KISS)
part 1

My first memeories are of loving music
I can remember playing with my Sammy Sound penguin toy (with the tom tom tummy) until it fell apart
I can remember walking through a music store when I was a couple years old and visiting a band in a basement (there was a lap steel involved) when most people can barely remember anything until 4 or 5
My whole life has been centered around one thing and that is music

My first “real record” that wasn’t children’s music was a K-Tel “Hit Machine” compilation that had KISS doing “Rock n Roll All Night”
Next I got $7 for my birthday, bought “Destroyer” at Richardson Square Mall and that was it
This marked the first time I got to discover a band and had 5 other albums to collect (Alive 2 had not come out yet)
This band had a huge impact on the way I saw my future in music
There were the more advanced rock bands like Queen, Rush and Led Zeppelin that my sister listened to, but I did not have the cognative skills to appreciate what they were doing so KISS was perfect for me
They spoon-fed me every open A chord and topped it with explosions, cool guitars and giant drumsets
I slowly developed an appreciation for the inner workings of music and thought Ace was the best lead guitarist and Peter was the best drummer
Until I started listening to Rush, of course
However, my friends did not like Rush and prefered to like vapid bands that pretty much aped the empty rock n roll fantasy KISS mythos
How could these people not appreciate the musical quality of Rush?
How can they call me a fag for liking music that made me think?

That’s when I discovered The Ramones
They were the exact antithesis of Rush and because of their incredible simplicitiy
Not only that, but it almost seemed that the simplicity was some sort of protest
I wore Ramones shirts as if to say “If you won’t appreciate me for my growing musical depth, then I am gonna hit you over the head with a baseball bat of 3 chord caveman rock”
Even better, I was one of the people who got the joke and realized that there was a ton of underlying sub-context in the imagery of the Ramones
Kinda like the fact that most people don’t realize how smart you have to be to create Beavis and Butthead

So, there I was with my two extreme schools of thought to guide me through my adolescent years
My thrash metal friends made fun of the Ramones and my punk friends hated Rush and both were, once again, calling me a fag for liking Gary Numan but that was OK because I was headed for a future where I would meld all of the greatest attributes of everything I loved

part 2

My entire life has been spent trying to achieve the ultimate musical statement
I became obsessed wth creating something that encorporated all of the things I loved about music that made me think
At the same time, I became obsessed with being “original”
I wanted to make sure that no one ever said “You guys sound exactly like a cross between ______ and _______”
In fact, it became the only thing that mattered
So much that I am only now realizing how much it restricted my options and handicapped my decision making
Not only that, but I became increasingly bitter, angry and resentful towards most people
It would have been OK if they angrily rejected my music but they did something even worse

Flash forward to the present and you find a 42 year old man who is still obsessed with the same idea of creating something completely original (or as close as possible) so that no one can accuse me of ripping off someone else’s ideas
My hatred was justified by all of the bands I saw around me that had no sense of individuality whatsoever
The worst part is that they always had the best local gigs and tons of fans
Meanwhile, I was in the opening band that was different and all we got in front of us was an empty concrete floor dotted with 1 or 2 friends and my girlfriend
This caused me to build up so much anger and resentment that it completely blinded me and poisoned everything I did
It’s a good thing I am so charming and witty because, if I wasn’t, I would have had no friends whatsoever
After all, who wants to be around that dickhead with the superiority complex who trashes everything other people like?
Two decades of thinking this way literally caused me to want to die
There was a point in my life not too long ago where I seriously considered killing myself because I couldn’t stand the thought of being an irrelevant never-has-been artist that wasted his entire adult life chasing an impossible dream that was just about as realistic as being the next KISS
I pulled through it, and, thanks to socialized, state run healthcare, I am seeing a therapist and kicking the shit out of my responsibilities and duties as an artist
I have stopped resenting people so much that I can’t stand to let them reject/ignore me anymore and have moved towards achieving my goal again

That doesn’t mean that I don’t still believe that I am better than all of those sellout, weak willed, no imagination douchewads who jump on whatever trend will get them an opening spot for the larger touring douchewad bands of their genre

Lastly, a big FUCK YOU to Gene Simmons who is raping the dead corpse of KISS while fools eagerly gobble up the 20 year old rotting flesh that falls of the bone of what has become the best KISS tribute band in the world
You used to be my hero and now you symbolize everything I hate about the bloated, self aggrandizing, empty headed 20th century rock and roll mindset

Now, I must get back to creating the new most important band in history


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